i am hugo or huga (no pronouns / they / them), identifying myself as queer, trans- & beyond-the-binary. i was born (in 1989) and raised in (the land colonially known as) rio de janeiro, brazil, and have been living in berlin, germany, for the past 10 years. i left the place i was born and raised 12 years ago because of homo- & trans- phobic violences—with brazil being the country that kills the most queer people in the world. i dedicate myself to being an interdisciplinary artist (performance, video, + visual arts), artistic researcher, somatic practitioner, and workshop facilitator.
here i wish to share with you, in the form of an article, a little bit about myself, my artistic practices and processes + my art-research project rituals for the anthropocene: the human-dominated planet + our metabolizing human-wrongs (MHW) artist residency. at the end of the article, i would like to invite you to join me for a somatic (body-based) + imagination exercise, if you like—to encounter + metabolize some of the historical, systemic, modern-colonial, ecological & on-going violence(sss) of the human-dominated planet stored in our own bodies + nervous-systems—before imagining (an)other possible planet(s).
🦌 a gender question 🦌
understanding myself as non-binary (not a man, not a woman), in 2020 i started artistic-research about men + masculinities which became research about men + masculinities + patriarchy which became research about patriarchal men + masculinities + violence which became research about (white-european-)men colonizing the world + dominating the entire planet which became research about the anthropocene: the human-dominated planet.
🐊 we live in white-men’s imagination 🐊
every aspect of the modern-colonial world that we currently live in was once imagined by white-european-men: land theft/land grabbing + slavery + displacement + destitution + dispossession + genocide + ecocide + climate collapse + mass extinction of species + the possibility of our own extinction. 🔥 forest fires 🔥 too—the ones ravaging both the continent where i was born and raised, as well as near the land where our residency took place while i was writing these words throughout september–october 2024.
who would have thought it possible: the imagination of a small group of men, from a small continent such as europe, manifested into a (human-dominated) planet?
so we too must go on imagining (an)other possible planet(s).
🌊 born and raised from white-men’s imagination 🌊
i was born and raised (in brazil) from white-men’s imagination.
the same men who imagined land theft/land grabbing + slavery + displacement + destitution + dispossession + genocide + ecocide + climate collapse + mass extinction of species + the possibility of our own extinction, also imagined the birth of their children + the birth of the children of their children + the birth of the children of the children of their children, and imagined my birth too.
the (historical, systemic, modern-colonial, ecological & ongoing) violences done (by white-men) to the planet + the violences done (by white-men) to my body = the same violence.
🐆 de-humanized by violences 🐆
by being de-humanized by violences—trans- & homo- phobic, racializing violences, by displacement & exile—i understood myself to be not a human. so i started wondering what a(nother) planet for non-human-beings like myself + others like me would look like.
and so my artistic-research about white-european-men colonizing the world + dominating the entire planet became an (still ongoing) interdisciplinary art-research project called rituals for the anthropocene: the human-dominated planet. the project right now is a series of 13 performative impromptu (video-)rituals to encounter + metabolize the historical, systemic, modern-colonial, ecological & on-going violence(sss) of the human-dominated planet stored in our own bodies + nervous-systems—before imagining (an)other possible planet(s).
(in such times of unprecedented planetary change.)
🌳 every violence of the human-dominated planet started in the body of a man 🌳
sometimes i wonder if every historical, systemic, modern-colonial, ecological & on-going violence of the human-dominated planet started in the body of a man. sometimes i wonder if that is how the human-dominated planet came to be—from violences that started in the body of a man.
🐮 a modern-colonial + violent invention 🐮
the modern-colonial systems we currently live in are inherently violent, harmful and unsustainable, yes. the idea of “humanity” is subsidized by historical, systemic, modern-colonial, ecological & ongoing violences. the “human” is a modern-colonial + violent invention in itself—and when i look at how much violence is required to maintain the ideas of “human” + “humanity”, i am happy not to be a human.
🐄 fiercely erotic, deeply entangled beings 🐄
in chão do rio—the land where our in-person part of the metabolizing human-wrongs artist residency took place—dani b. shared with us about the feminine not as the opposite of masculine, and about the goddesses not as feminine versions of the gods, but instead: as fiercely erotic, deeply entangled beings (= non-binary beings). in chão do rio, (back to) a gender question: in the land, i experienced myself (for the first time in my life) as huga—not as the feminine version of hugo, of course, but instead: as a fiercely erotic, deeply entangled being—metabolizing violences amongst other goddesses.
🐔 jokes can only come out of our last stomach 🐔
on the land: huga + other goddesses experienced humour and play(fulness) as a (collective) metabolic process (through which it was possible to metabolize the violences), as well as a (shared) commitment & response-ability.
sometimes we need several stomachs to metabolize the violences of the human-dominated planet. sometimes we also need to be radically-tender to each other, and lend/borrow a(nother) stomach to/from one another, to help metabolize.
jokes can only come out of our last stomach. only violences already metabolized (through all stomachs) can turn into jokes jokes jokes jokes jokes x1000000. cows and other ruminants have several stomachs—so they are able to tell good jokes. in the land: metabolized violences turned into jokes. jokes turned into laughter. laughter laughed itself through the land (another metabolic process in itself). each time we laughed: it meant the spirit of play(fulness) was a little bit closer to our bodies.
on the land: i connected through play(fulness) with the alva (river)—one of the oldest ancestors of the land. a few years ago, i un/learned together with a friend that when you don’t play/laugh with the land/river/ancestors, the land/river/ancestors may find you boring, and not really want to connect with you.
🔥 encountering + metabolizing the violence(sss) 🔥
now: i would like to invite you to take part in an exercise to encounter + metabolize some of the historical, systemic, modern-colonial, ecological & on-going violence(sss) of the human-dominated planet stored in your own body + nervous-system—before imagining (an)other possible planet(s).
you may choose to do this on your own, or together with (an)other (human-)beings. we did it together as a group in chão do rio. here i will instruct you through the process of doing it on your own. you may choose to write down your answers, or document your answers in any other way you like.
preparation: print these 17 images from the (video-)rituals for the anthropocene: the human-dominated planet (video-rituals n°01 – 06), so you are able to hold the images in your hands, close(r) to your body. choose to dress intentionally: wear something that makes you feel connected to a (wider) sense of your own being on the planet, and/or lived experiences, and/or identities, and/or other beings that are meaningful to you. choose a piece of land you feel connected to. bring the images to the land, together with you.
when on the land, start with an embodied land acknowledgement first: take a moment to bring your awareness into your body. what is most present for you right now, what do you notice? (if this is completely new or unfamiliar to you, you can notice for example: how is your heartbeat, the rhythm of your breath, or the weight of your body in contact with the land, and/or other surfaces your body touches). then: take a moment to feel for (or with) the land. bring your awareness into your body again: what do you notice, what comes up for you when you give yourself a moment to feel for (or with) the land? now: feel for (or with) other beings in the land. what do you notice, what comes up for you, when you give yourself a moment to feel for (or with) other beings in the land?
display the 17 images in a way that you are able to encounter all of them.
before encountering + metabolizing the violence(sss): invite the spirit of play(fulness) a little bit closer to your body, the land, and other beings in the land—just as we did, together as a group in chão do rio: by playing (games), telling jokes jokes jokes jokes jokes, or by any other way you like.
encountering the violence(sss): accompanied by the spirit of playfulness, take a moment to feel for (or with) all 17 images displayed, and notice what comes up for you. then: choose one of the images for yourself. look at it, hold it in your hands, bring it close(r) to your body.
now: take a moment to feel for (or with) the image you have chosen, and to encounter the violence(sss)—when you take a moment to feel for (or with) it, which historical, systemic, modern-colonial, ecological and / or ongoing violence(sss) of the human-dominated planet come up for you? recognize + name the violence(sss) for yourself.
metabolizing the violence(sss): while holding the image in your hands and close(r) to your body, consider the image + the violence(sss) that came up for you, and bring your awareness back into your body. what is most present for you right now, what do you notice in terms of:
(recognize + name 1 – 9 for yourself)
🦌 1. the vibe or the mood: what vibe or mood is present for you in this moment?
🐊 2. image(s): what other image(s) come up for you, from memory or imagination?
🌊 3. emotion(s): what emotion(s) or emotional quality(-ies) do you notice? and where/how do you notice the emotion(s) in your body?
🐆 4. physical sensation(s): what physical sensation(s) are present for you right now? and where do you notice the physical sensations in your body?
🌳 5. physical impulse(s): what physical impulse(s) do you notice—what movement(s), gesture(s), action(s), and/or sound(s)?
🐮 6. what else—last: what else is present for you right now—is there anything else that you notice?
imagining + manifesting (an)other possible planet(s):
🐄 7. need: when you consider 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 + 6—what is your need?
🐔 8. imagination: and when you consider your need, if you could imagine anything—anything at all—what would you imagine?
give yourself a moment to imagine + a little extra moment to spend some time with your imagination. notice what else/if anything else comes up for you, when you spend some time with it.
🔥 9. manifestation—now: if you could manifest your imagination into a present (shared) lived experience, together with (an)other being(s) and the land—how would you manifest it? (try to be as specific as possible about it.)
then, accompanied by the spirit of play(fulness), take your time to: manifest your imagination into a present (shared) lived experience, together with (an)other being(s) and the land (!)*
*(in chão do rio, after going through steps 1 – 8, each person shared with the group what would have been the manifestation of their own imagination (step 9). on the last day of the residency, we took a moment to manifest siegmar’s imagination into a present (shared) lived experience, together as a group: standing in a wide circle with our backs towards the circle and to one another, those who were still wearing any kind of underpants dropped them, freed their genitals from any kind of clothing, and together we held a big collective pee, as a gesture of reciprocity to the land.)
once you have manifested your imagination into a present (shared) lived experience together with (an)other being(s) and the land, take a moment to notice: what is present for you right now? what do you notice? is there anything that is present now that feels different from before? is there anything new, has anything changed? notice if/what is different/new/has changed.
and lastly, a moment of reflection: notice what is present for you right now.
if a(nother) planet(s) could/would be created in this moment, from what is present for you right now—how would this planet be/look/feel? how would this/these other planet(s) be any different from the human dominated-planet, if at all? and what (other, different, new, similar, same) violence(sss) would be part of this/these other planet(s)?
a moment of integration: give your body + nervous-system one last moment to integrate the experience.
if you haven’t yet, take some notes: what have you un/learned from your experience?
(you may keep the image with you, if you like.)
